we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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