would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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