I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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