As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
She even gives head with a lisp.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
