I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
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