return my video game
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
