I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
My feet surprised me
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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