Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
