I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
