I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
