The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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