I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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