Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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