Jerry, you need to find god
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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