32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
