U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
