First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
