i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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