The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
