i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
