Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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