u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Found your dick twin last night
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I need mimosas to revive my soul
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
