I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
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just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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