Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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