Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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