hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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