Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
