I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
