It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
