I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Found your dick twin last night
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
