ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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