pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Randomize
