id be glad to
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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