cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize