is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
