I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
