Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
