Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
