this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
