Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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