yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
