Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
