textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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