Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i believe in u and ur pee
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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