everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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