My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
two words: eviction party
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
