I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
