# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
