I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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