What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
