no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
