I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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