Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize