Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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