so that wasnt chicken after all
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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