How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
i think i just lost a toe
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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