I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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