Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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