Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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