I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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