I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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