just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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