i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
