This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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